Jeff

We went and found him today. The memorial park isn't too far from us, just on the other side of town about 20-30 minutes or so depending on traffic. It was a weird feeling. The last time we saw him in person was July 2nd. They didn't have him at the memorial service, so it felt odd just looking at pictures and being told he was gone. I don't know if seeing him in the mausoleum did anything to make it less odd. I don't think I've ever had a friend or relative interred in a mausoleum, as opposed to in the cemetery, but I can tell you it's unbelievably COLD in there. It felt colder inside than it was outside, and it was about 55 degrees outside. I didn't like that. They probably have to keep it cold because not everyone interred there is cremated. I guess on the plus side, you can be out of the rain when you're visiting and they have these enclosed glass shelves where you can put someone and have some personal effects and that sort of thing there. I don't know -- I just can't believe he's gone. He would have had one hell of a 30th birthday party, I just know it. We'll have to have a few drinks on his behalf on Tuesday, I think. The urn he was in was shaped like a book and had his name and dates on it. There was another "book" next to his and I wondered who it was for. There were some cases that had multiple books, perhaps whole families. The only thing in the case with Jeff was a glass thing with a movie quote inside:

"I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend."

That was from the character "Red" in "The Shawshank Redemption."

What a sweet, sweet man he was. We miss him so much.

When we left, we walked past some graves outside. It's a really beautiful place, and has been there for a long, long time. Well, not as long as places back east, but there were plenty of people whose births dated to the mid to late 1800s. There may have been older ones; we didn't stay that long. There were a lot of squirrels running around and crows, I think, foraging for stuff. I like the outside areas with the trees and benches and expansive lawns.

So we did that, and now we know where he is.

On the way back, we decided to try to have our "do-over" for my birthday. We stopped off and bought this triple chocolate mousse cake, the same kind we bought for my stepmother's birthday in September. We got a couple of bottles of champagne and some beer for ourselves, and some sparkling cider for the stepdaughter. We were trying to decide what to do for dinner and the grocery store we go to makes some soups that we decided to try. Everyone knows Friday is clam chowder day, right? So, we bought some clam chowder, and they had these little bread rounds and we got one for each of us so we can have clam chowder in a bread bowl. Got the little oyster crackers, too. Fun!

So now we're back home and I am going to go meet my mother for lunch at El Torito. I'm hungry! I need to go freshen up before I take off. Since the husband has decided not to go with me, I may go do a little holiday shopping -- we might not have any money right now, but I don't think we're really going to bypass Christmas and the two little gifts under our tree are starting to look a little sad! I'll see if I can do anything about that. Might have to hit up the Macy's card!

I do feel much better today than I did yesterday. I know this is just a hiccup and we will get through it just fine. Onward and upward . . .