When did I turn into such a big baby?

I have a hard time sleeping when the husband is away. He goes on this trip every year. When we lived in a 2nd story apartment, it didn't bother me as much. But ever since we've been in this house (going on 3 years), every noise I hear is cause for investigation. I don't live in a bad neighborhood, and we have a cop living to the left and 4 guys that Jason is friends with living in the house to the right -- so help isn't far way. However, like the dumbass I am, I recently watched this 2-hour special on serial killers and I kept thinking about that BTK guy -- how he said he would watch potential victims, see when they were home, when they weren't, then break into their house -- usually from the back -- and wait for that person to come home. Yeah . . . what if they're already in your house when you get home?! I'm gonna have to start walking around the house before I go in to make sure no doors or windows are broken! Just while Jason's away. I probably won't do that. I'm not THAT paranoid. But I still have those thoughts. There are some sick fucks in the world, and I don't wanna meet any of 'em.

Earlier this morning I needed to go to the bank for some cash and though it's only a block away across a half-empty parking lot, the environment seems to change dramatically -- there's a bus station just another block or so away so the chance of running into transients seems higher. That's just what I need -- to have someone come up behind me while I'm at an ATM. There was some guy running around midtown (about 15 blocks from work) robbing women at gunpoint in broad daylight -- taking their purses, jewelry, car keys in some cases . . . awful. They actually arrested 2 guys for that recently. But I think about that stuff, too. Then I walk back toward the direction of my office building, and there is a mall across the street -- it seems much safer in there -- I went there for a Jamba Juice, but before I could actually get to the interior of the mall, some guy in a van starts honking at me and yelling to me . . . sure, I'm gonna stop and talk to you. Uh, how 'bout no. I was on the phone w/Jason and I just kept on walkin'. Creepy!

Anyway, it just bothers me that I am so hyper aware of who's around me now. I think I worry unnecessarily. Am I turning into my mother? She worries about EVERYTHING.

Say it ain't so!