In the name of all that is holy . . .

When my cube-mate got in this morning, she asked me how I was. My response?

(me) "Ask me how I got to work today."

(cube-mate) "How did you get to work today?"

(me) "Skindy picked me up and brought me in w/her. Ask me why."

(cube-mate) "Why?"

(me) "Because I locked myself outta the m@#$!$%^#$&*g house!"

Yep. I did. I've graduated from spilling water to locking my damned self out. I was all ready to go, purse, briefcase, water bottle and flip-flops in hand -- locked the door and walked out into the garage. As the door was swinging closed behind me, it hit me that I didn't have my keys in my hand. "Oh," I say, as though anyone could hear me (perhaps the cat?). I put my hand out to catch the door -- too late.

Click.

Locked.

Please please please tell me my keys are buried in my purse. Or my briefcase. I ALWAYS have my keys in hand when I walk out the door! Not this time. No keys in the purse. No keys in the briefcase. It's 7:40. I'm supposed to be at work at 8:00. The husband is at work 35 miles away by 6:00. And when he leaves at 2:30, he's going straight out of town. Until Sunday.

MF'r! (not him)

I call the husband on my cell. "PLEASE tell me one of the neighbors still has our keys from when we were on vacation," I beg.

"I don't think so -- why?"

"I locked myself out of the MF'ing house!"

I remember my friend Skindy is staying w/her boyfriend, who lives closer to me than she does and I am on her way to work. Any chance she hasn't passed me yet on her way in? I call, and she is just getting onto the freeway one exit away from my house.

YES! She very kindly swings by and picks me up while I try to figure out how I'm gonna get in when I get home. And how I'm gonna get home. Skindy to the rescue in her fiery box of death.

Luckily, she had no lunch plans. Even luckier, my office is in the same direction as where the husband is working, so half the distance to his job from the house is erased by going to my office. We decided to meet him for lunch, and I buy my friend lunch for her trouble. Not enough to pay her back, but it's a start.

I got the husband's keys from him (better not get locked out again or I'm hosed!), and Skindy dropped me off at home after work. Thankfully, she didn't hold the bitch-slapping incident of last weekend against me. And I got me an Aloha Pineapple Jamba Juice this morning (light banana, sub strawberry, free immunity boost) to make my morning better. What a way to start the day!

And nothing that happened today seems to mirror my horoscope for the day -- unless you count the fact that my HR Director told me that an attorney from our office location that's only 8 miles from my house wants to talk to me about an opening in that office next week. I don't remember if I've mentioned this already. I have a chance that I've been hoping for, but now I'm not sure it's a great idea because w/this newsletter thingy, it might be better for me to be in the main office. But the situation in this branch office would be awesome, commute-wise, parking situation-wise, and being able to run everything in that office. It could lead to more good things. Then again, staying in the main office might be the wiser choice. I should write out this whole situation to get a better grip on what I'm mulling over here. I don't think what I'm writing now makes any sense to anyone but me! I don't have the patience to do it the right way right now.

Anyway.

What a weird day. And now the husband is in on the side of a mountain in Sonoma, drinking beer, playing PS2 on a 27" TV they are running on a generator, and waiting for the races that start tomorrow.

As for me, one more day of work standing between me and the weekend. On the one hand, I want to do so many things; on the other hand, I don't want to do a damned thing!

For now, I guess I'll go climb into bed and catch up on some Tivo. And my keys are sitting on top of my purse, so I think I'm covered!