Interesting Point of View
Still ruminating about my friend. I know it happens every day, but not to me. Came across an interesting quote -- no idea to whom it should be attributed:
"I think about how much I miss him, and start to feel sorry for myself...but then I think about all the people who never got the chance to meet him, and I start to feel sorry for them."
It does fit. I do feel lucky that he touched my life. Still, I can't help feeling cheated.
I know from experience that time does heal all wounds -- but I know I will think of him often. The husband and I have talked about whether we believe in life after death. We agreed that we are agnostic and though it would be nice to think there is something beyond this life, there really is no way to know. I think believing such things makes people feel better about the prospect of death. Coincidentally, I saw another interesting quote:
"Religion is the human response to being alive and having to die." It was attributed to F. Forrester Church. I don't know anything about that person, but I thought it was a very apropos.
Then again, many people have experiences that make them believe this must not be all there is. Someone after the funeral mentioned a belief in her family that people come back as butterflies -- and when they were setting up to receive visitors, a butterfly was spotted in the house, following them to the rear of it, then out the door. I rarely see butterflies. Something like that could make me think.
One of the speakers at the funeral said something many of us found amusing. To paraphrase, in acknowledging Jeff's favorite sports teams, the speaker admitted he was not particularly spiritual but that if the Kings won the championship, the Giants won the pennant, and the 49ers were any good at all, he was going to start going to church every Sunday because he knew someone up there had God's ear.
"I think about how much I miss him, and start to feel sorry for myself...but then I think about all the people who never got the chance to meet him, and I start to feel sorry for them."
It does fit. I do feel lucky that he touched my life. Still, I can't help feeling cheated.
I know from experience that time does heal all wounds -- but I know I will think of him often. The husband and I have talked about whether we believe in life after death. We agreed that we are agnostic and though it would be nice to think there is something beyond this life, there really is no way to know. I think believing such things makes people feel better about the prospect of death. Coincidentally, I saw another interesting quote:
"Religion is the human response to being alive and having to die." It was attributed to F. Forrester Church. I don't know anything about that person, but I thought it was a very apropos.
Then again, many people have experiences that make them believe this must not be all there is. Someone after the funeral mentioned a belief in her family that people come back as butterflies -- and when they were setting up to receive visitors, a butterfly was spotted in the house, following them to the rear of it, then out the door. I rarely see butterflies. Something like that could make me think.
One of the speakers at the funeral said something many of us found amusing. To paraphrase, in acknowledging Jeff's favorite sports teams, the speaker admitted he was not particularly spiritual but that if the Kings won the championship, the Giants won the pennant, and the 49ers were any good at all, he was going to start going to church every Sunday because he knew someone up there had God's ear.
posted by PlatinumGirl at 9:12 PM
5 Comments:
How funny that the guy's last name is Church that said the quote about religion. I believe there is a God, but I'm not that religious. A lot of people only become religious when they are about to die. It's sad, but if it makes them feel better about dying, so be it, I suppose.
I think the butterfly thing is a good example. If your friend feels calm when she sees butterflies, that's fine by me.
I just wanted you to know that I've been reading. I haven't really known what to say, but just wanted you to know my thoughts are with you. Especially as you work through your feelings and thoughts.
(hug)
I'm so, so sorry about your friend. You're story is very touching... I couldn't help but feel sorry for you, his girlfriend, and Jeff. What has the family done to her? Did Jeff believe in God, even if he wasn't religious?
Maybe you could check out this website(below) -- a group of believers in God who are not about church, and religiousness --- but who believe in his presence in our lives, our hearts and relationships. Not believers in perfect relgion, a set of do's and dont's, etc...
This message speaks to the heart. It has spoken to me and I hope it helps you in your time of grief.
www.ransomedheart.com
Peachy: I have to admit I am not solid in my opinions regarding religion or spirituality. I don't participate in organized religion, but it's hard to dismiss religious beliefs out of hand. I think I have some reading to do.
And I do like the idea that people might be able to return to us in other forms or might otherwise be somewhere around us.
J: Thanks. Don't worry about not knowing what to say -- I don't comment if nothing comes to mind, either.
Anon: Thanks. I don't want to get any more specific than I already have in my blog; suffice it to say that people sometimes say and do mean-spirited things that cannot be entirely excused by their grief. Causing someone else pain to alleviate your own, in my opinion, is unacceptable. I don't know what Jeff's religious beliefs were; we never had occasion to discuss them.
Anon: Thanks for the tip on the site.
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