Beautiful Day

It is beautiful outside. I need to go get a walk in. Unfortunately, I'm planted here in front of my computer wondering if I should be searching for plane tickets. My mom called me last night and my grammy isn't doing well. She's been in & out of the hospital a lot over the past several months, and the stays have been getting more frequent and longer. This time is different. The doctors seem to be saying that not only will she not be going back to her own home, but that she might not even be able to leave the hospital at this point. She's very weak, and tired -- and not just physically at this point. My mom wants to know if I want to go back now or later. I understand the choice she's asking me to make. I want to see her, but it's not certain that she would even know I was there. I guess she's pretty out of it. I love that my family's roots are in Boston, but when you live in California and your grandmother's on the opposite coast and you just want to go say hi, it sucks. I was last there in 2003, 2 years ago this month in fact, and I said at the time I thought I might come back in 2005. This wasn't quite what I had in mind. But grammy's tired. I hate this.

I think I'll call the hospital to see what I can find out. Then I'd better get out for a walk and clear my head. Probably a good day to count my blessings.