Life's too short to clean your own home

I got a piece of mail the other day that said this on the front. A cleaning service, of course. You know, I'm starting to agree. I never thought I'd feel like I wanted a housekeeper, but the longer I live with other people the more I feel like I need one. Everyone else who lives here has one -- me! How the hell did that happen? Not that they don't help at all, but they don't usually do it without some prodding (from me) and they don't usually do it that well. As the saying goes, "[i]f you want something done right . . ."

I need a housekeeper

And a chef

And a trainer

Is that so much to ask for? I thought so.

The house is still totally torn apart with this remodel and I am trying to get stuff put away but I just don't know where to put everything -- and I really don't feel like it! Why can't a crew show up at my door ready to take over, send me on vacation for a week and let me come back to a completely renovated and redecorated house? Where's my extreme home makeover? Oh, right -- I don't have a terminal disease or comparable sob story. Yeah, yeah, I'm grateful and all, but why can't I be visited with such great fortune? Nope, instead we have to give the credit card a major workout and earn all this so-called "sweat equity." Sweat equity sucks!

Alright, back to work.